Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain

Author:Mark Twain [Twain, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction > Literary Classics
ISBN: 1593082185
Publisher: Barnes&Noble
Published: 2011-07-14T00:28:52+00:00

“I AM EDWARD, KING OF ENGLAND”

“I thank you, my good people.”

This unexpected result threw the company into convulsions of merriment. When something like quiet was presently come again, the Ruffler said, firmly, but with an accent of good nature:

“Drop it, boy, ’tis not wise, nor well. Humor thy fancy, if thou must, but choose some other title.”

A tinker shrieked out a suggestion:

“Foo-foo the First, king of the Mooncalves!”

The title “took” at once, every throat responded, and a roaring shout went up, of:

“Long live Foo-foo the First, king of the Mooncalves!” followed by hootings, catcalls, and peals of laughter.

“Hale him forth, and crown him!”

“Robe him!”

“Scepter him!”

“Throne him!”

These and twenty other cries broke out at once; and almost before the poor little victim could draw a breath he was crowned with a tin basin, robed in a tattered blanket, throned upon a barrel, and sceptered with the tinker’s soldering-iron. Then all flung themselves upon their knees about him and sent up a chorus of ironical wailings, and mocking supplications, while they swabbed their eyes with their soiled and ragged sleeves and aprons:

“Be gracious to us, O sweet king!”

“Trample not upon thy beseeching worms, O noble majesty!”

“Pity thy slaves, and comfort them with a royal kick!”

“Cheer us and warm us with thy gracious rays, O flaming sun of sovereignty!”

“Sanctify the ground with the touch of thy foot, that we may eat the dirt and be ennobled!”

“Deign to spit upon us, O sire, that our children’s children may tell of thy princely condescension, and be proud and happy forever!”

But the humorous tinker made the “hit” of the evening and carried off the honors. Kneeling, he pretended to kiss the king’s foot, and was indignantly spurned; whereupon he went about begging for a rag to paste over the place upon his face which had been touched by the foot, saying it must be preserved from contact with the vulgar air, and that he should make his fortune by going on the highway and exposing it to view at the rate of a hundred shillings a sight. He made himself so killingly funny that he was the envy and admiration of the whole mangy rabble.

Tears of shame and indignation stood in the little monarch’s eyes; and the thought in his heart was, “Had I offered them a deep wrong they could not be more cruel—yet have I proffered naught but to do them a kindness—and it is thus they use me for it!”

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